Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
