Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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