that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
