We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
