North Korea, Best Korea!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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