so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
