Nicole vs. Life
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
