that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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