Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
