come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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