I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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