Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
