OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
