Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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