I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I need to calm my uterus...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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