Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
