idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
