watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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