Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
