D3 body, D1 cock
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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