I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
