Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
