can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
