I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
