Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
