Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
