I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
