Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
