Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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