Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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