Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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