so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
