Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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