Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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