your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
