Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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