Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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