Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
