I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
