i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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