He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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