This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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