Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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