after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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