Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
