we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Someone signed my nipple.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
