smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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