....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
