I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
