I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she told me i tasted like america
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
