Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think my fart just growled at me.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
